Betrayalin the Church

Each Sunday, we sat there in church with the lifting of holy hands, crying out, “Abba, Father.” Yet she was in a sanctuary filled with nothing but lies. The down-low lifestyles. She was living with a man who was fighting his own demons and using the church as a cover. It wasn't just the undercover life, but the betrayal. They all knew: the whispering, the silence. This memoir is a step-by-step account of how she found the strength to walk away and uncover the truth.

She thought the church was her safe place, the one place where truth, love, and protection still existed, but behind the smiles, prayers, and holy words were secrets no one wanted exposed. When Carien finally begins to uncover the truth about the life she was living, she must decide whether to stay silent like everyone expected, or risk everything by revealing the betrayal that almost destroyed her.

Torn between the gospel she was taught and the hypocrisy she was forced to witness, she internalized the blame and felt unable to share the truth with outsiders and fellow believers. Her resilience began in childhood, when she endured the traumas that came with it. That same strength helps her refocus. She loves the Lord with all her heart and carries her personal relationship with Him wherever she goes. But what if her ministry is not behind the four walls? What if it is on the outside?